A Flat Tire

A man has a flat tire on the road that borders a mental hospital. He carefully removes the five lug nuts from the wheel and puts them in the hubcap. But when he goes to get the spare tire out of his trunk, he accidentally kicks the hubcap and all five lug nuts fall into a drain by the curb, out of reach.

As the man stands there, angry at himself and at a loss for what to do, he notices that a patient from the mental hospital is watching him from the other side of the fence.

“If I were you,” the patient says, “I’d take one lug nut each off of the other wheels and use them to hold the spare in place until you can get to a garage.”

The man, stunned, says, “Wow, that’s a great idea. I wouldn’t have thought that somebody in your position—I mean, you know, in the hospital and all— could come up with…” He trails off in embarrassment.

“Hey,” the patient says. “I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.”¹Some prefer the punchline from the Spanish version of the joke: “Estoy aquí por loco, no por pendejo.”

[created 1 Jan 2023]